As we get deeper into the last quarter of the year, I think it’s time for some reflections. How are you doing with achieving your goals for the year? Are you on track to achieving everything you set out for yourself this year? Or are some things lagging behind? The journey to becoming your best version of yourself is a long and beautiful one but often, along the way, we find ourselves getting distracted with other things or people.
It’s at this time of the year that we often start to wonder what was it exactly that kept us from meeting those intentions we set out with at the beginning of the year? The funny thing is, sometimes it’s actually us. Often, we get inside our own head, trying to please everyone around us and then forget about our own journey in the process. If you find yourself unconsciously doing this, then this article is for you! Today we’re looking at five things you should QUIT when becoming your best self.
1. Trying to please everyone
You can’t please everyone… and why should you? If you live life trying to please everyone, you’ll do just that – you’ll please everyone else and never please yourself. Sometimes you need to put yourself first and do what’s best for you even if it means upsetting a few bystanders along the way. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying run everyone in your path over; what I am saying is – don’t be afraid to let a few people down on your journey to becoming your best self.
Constantly overextending for others can actually hinder your own success. In the end you leave no room for yourself. Perhaps we try to fit in and behave in ways that others want us to be. If you sit back and think about it, it’s actually physically and mentally draining. When we do this, we aren’t living for ourselves, we’re actually living our lives so other people can be happy. This can leave you exhausted, anxious and upset.
Quit this now!
It doesn’t make you a bad person to say no to things and people. It realigns you with YOUR focus and what you’re actually comfortable with. And that’s okay!
Start by saying no to the small things, become conformable with that and then move on to saying no to the bigger things. It’s really empowering.
2. Fearing change
Change is scary – whether it be switching careers, ending a relationship or even moving to a new city. The unknown is often very frightening but when we sit back and reflect, it was those fearful things that often led us to some of the best times of our lives! It was those unknowns that put us on a path to success we didn’t even know was possible.
Sometimes it’s so scary, it stops us from doing anything. But often, once we get past that initial fear, we find there is a world of opportunities that never would have come about if we hadn’t got over that fear.
It’s also important to remember, that procrastinating to not let fear take over our lives is exactly that – procrastination. It’s not easy to be courageous and jump into the unknown but the more you do it, the easier it becomes to keep doing it. Start with the small things that scare you, set yourself a time to start and then do just that – START! This will make it easier to get started on the bigger things.
It’s also important to learn how to deal with change. With each step you take, you’ll realize that while it is scary, you actually do know how to handle it.
Spend time with people who aren’t afraid of making decisions and starting something new. Stay away from those individuals who make you feel like your current position is where you’re meant to stay. The people who push you to try new things are the people you want around you. Believe that the universe will always have your best interest at heart and will always lead you in the right direction.
3. Stop putting yourself down
We all do it at some point or another… and NO, it’s not okay. Remember this, when we put ourselves down, it’s actually damaging to our self-confidence and we’re actually encouraging others to put us down as well. It’s important to understand why we do it in the first place. Often, it’s because we lack self-love and confidence in our own abilities.
But… that’s why you’re here right?! To walk the journey to become your best self where one of the things we do is love ourselves unconditionally.
Do your best to understand your own limitations and differences. Stop thinking the worst about yourself and start loving yourself. Invest time in the things that make you happy and feel like a better you whether it be eating more greens, to surrounding yourself with friends that lift you up. Do things that help raise your self-esteem and self-value!
4. Over thinking
We all do it at some point or another. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in overthinking and negative thoughts. What if this happens, and what if that happens… did I do this… did I send that email…
There are simple ways to overcome overthinking. First start by acknowledging when you’re actually thinking too much and when something is really out of your control. Build confidence in yourself so that you can stand firmly behind the choices you make without having to question if they are right. Be present and focused. That way you will start minimizing the number of times you second guess yourself after a choice or decision is made. Commit to being here and now, in the present.
5. Tying your self-worth to others
It’s so easy to look for validation in other people that we somehow forget to value ourselves. Many of us care far too much about how our friends, families and co-workers view us. In doing so, we then start to make decisions and act in ways that we feel others will approve of, not realizing that these actions or decisions are not really what makes us happy. When you tie your self-worth and validation to others, you’re saying that you come last.
Take a step back and make a list of all the accomplishments in your life. Let this be a start on your journey of valuing yourself. Look at what you’ve achieved! Praise yourself for it. You deserve it.
Then look at where you want to be and what are the small steps you need to achieve to get there. The key is consistency. Stick to these small steps and watch how you slowly get closer and closer to what you set out to achieve.